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In order to truly save him, I need to redefine us.
Xander Dixon was my best friend.
Loyal and dependable.
A brave warrior.
A permanent presence in my life until that fateful day he boarded a plane headed overseas.
Xander’s unwelcome silence haunted me for three years…
Until he suddenly resurfaces.
Blinded by misplaced fury.
Trapped in a pool of darkness.
Unable to escape the perpetual pain.
Though it would be easy to walk away, I refuse to give up on him.
I want to know his misery and torment, so I can rescue him.
Then Xander will finally be mine.
Seeing Willow again is like taking a direct hit to my chest. I loved that girl with all I had to give but never did a damn thing about it. She was always so pure and bright. What could she ever see in a loser like me? I wanted to make something of myself so I had more to offer her. I wanted to be a man she would be proud to claim.
The fantasy of us getting hitched and having a fleet of children when I was done with my tour had kept me company. I often dreamed of it on those long, lonely nights. Too bad I was always too chicken shit to tell her my feelings and now she will never know. Fuck, I missed her something fierce but I couldn't even talk to her when she showed up at the door. I just pushed her away and hid behind my bullshit armor.
My head falls into my hands and then I yank on my hair. What the fuck have I done? The one chance I get to speak to Willow and I act like a demented moron. She sure as hell won't be coming back. I made sure of that, just like with my mother. No point dwelling on it. Not like she would want anything to do with me once she realized what I've become. I’m sure she kicked up rocks with how fast she tore out of here.
I slowly stand and stretch before securing all the locks. When I glance out the window, I'm shocked to see a car in my driveway. Why is Willow still here? With a closer look, it seems her tires are spinning in the thick snow that now covers the ground. She keeps trying to move forward, which is only making the ruts she's stuck in worse. Willow is not going anywhere anytime soon if she keeps that up.
Whether I like it or not, I’m going to have to go out there to help her. How can I do that without speaking to her?